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Code of Community

Compiled by the community in July 2006. Compilation recorded here.

Before concerning yourself with how to fit in with the community, it is recommended that you read the Code of Conduct. The Code of Community is just a list of suggestions, the Code of Conduct is Law.

#1 - Leave your sanity at the door.* The fluffy turtles (1, 2) need to be fed.

#2 - You now belong to this Board. If you try to escape, you will return. Always.

#3 - Reverntly respect Imban (1), he is you, you are him, and so is everyone else.

#4 - While exact Spiderweb pantheon is subject to debates and holy wars, Jeff Vogel (Spidweb) is undisputed supreme god for the following reasons:
- He has created these forums.
- He has the power to destroy these forums.
- He sets the rules to guide us and the laws to judge us.
- He sets moderators to watch over us.
- He smites all those who challenge his authority, banishing them from existence.

#5 - Member *i is an immediate agent of Jeff and his decrees should be treated with proper respect.

#6 - While it is not necessary to continually maintain the level of discourse appropriate for instructional process at a major academic institution, if u rite lik dis or use teh 1337 u'll be laft off teh boardz and teh intrawebz.

#7 - Google is your friend.

#8 - Wikipedia is your friend. Also see #9.

#9 - Do not belive everything your friends tell you; they sometimes lie.

#10 - Do not start a new thread for a subject that was recently discussed.

#11 - Do not post in a thread that is too old. Necromancy is frowned upon - we'd rather have moribund fora than be reminded of what we were talking about last month.

#12 - If the combination of rules 10 and 11 above is preventing you from discussing certain subjects you can pray to Richard White (1), Chthulhu, or some other resident deity for guidance. Or just use your best judgment.

#13 - Like every good bridge, this place has its trolls. Do not try to emulate them. Even the most prominent of them sometimes get banned, and you don't have any Get out of Jail Free cards yet.

#14 - Do not feed the trolls. (Unless you enjoy being troll food.)

#15 - If you are easily offended, do not get involved in political, religious, philosophical, or any other kind of discussion, debate, argument, or conversation. (This is the internet, after all, even if we try to maintain a civil environment.)

#16 - Using these boards as a chatroom, starting posting games, using lots of smileys in the same post, or spamming (unless it's very funny) are reliable ways to get a custom title. Unfortunately that custom title is "Canned".

#17 - If the custom title of "Canned" is not sufficient for you, you can continue the behaviors that earned it and you'll be upgraded to "Banned".

#18 - Most other custom titles are bestowed by Drakey on those he finds worthy while he is sufficiently drunk. Asking for a custom title is the best way to make sure you'll never get one.

#19 - Surveys are not considered spamming games. They are allowed and encouraged in moderation.

#20 - OBSOLETE Karma should not be discussed. If you take the risk and talk about karma, be prepared that yours will inevitably lower and you'll drop down in the chain of evolution.

#21 - OBSOLETE Do not choose a PDN that's longer than 24 characters or so, it spoils the formatting of the page.

#22 - Reading the entire thread before you post, while not strictly required, is a good way to avoid looking like a fool.

#23 - OBSOLETE The UBB software that runs these forums has a short attention span. Posting complete works of literature in a single thread causes the board to forget that the thread ever existed. Regular threads that reach about 20 pages of long posts also stretch the board's patience, causing some pages to disappear.

#24 - OBSOLETE Intentionally using the board's peculiar memory described above to destroy threads is a good way to get a custom title "Banned".

#25 - "FYT" means Fixed Your Typo, but you're not really supposed to fix peoples typo's with it. Just put words in their mouth.

#26 - Topics celebrating post count milestones should be started only on suitable occasions.

#27 - #26 may be waived, but only if topic is intended to protest base-10 numbers, even numbers, round numbers, etc..

#28 - Causing a Mac versus PC war or an Exile versus Avernum war is not expressly forbidden. However, doing so will cause a poor, fluffy kitty (1) to spontaneously combust.

#29 - Do not attempt to compare Avernum and Geneforge. Talking Averforge is not appreciated by JV, for obvious reasons.

#30 - Dikiyoba's stories are legend. Do not insult them.

#31 - Join a Spiderweb/CalRef chat at your own peril.

#32 - Joining any Spiderweb satellite boards are bound to make you lose more of your sanity and probably more than your sanity. You have been warned.

#33 - Replying to a post by putting it through Babelfish is spam. Funny spam, but still spam.

#34 - OBSOLETE Do not aggravate TM. You will be verbally violated. If not by him, then by someone else on his behalf.

#35 - Any post comparing TM and Kel is unlikely to be popular.

#36 - It is recommended not to have a PDN including the words "commander", "Edward", "Ed", or "E.D.F." In fact, you might not be safe until you've gotten rid of any existing e's directly followed by d's in your PDN.

#37 - Do not copy Alorael's signature. He has a sniper rifle. He is not afraid to use it. Alo is also the only member allowed to speak in the third person safely. Dikiyoba is the sole exception. We think Diki bribed him with... something.

#38 - All our skribbane belongs to Alo, and now, so does yours.

#39 - Drakey is now, always was, and always will be 7. Don't question it or we'll be forced to adjust your implants (1).

#40 - Do not anger the needle/ferrets (1), offend the chickens (1), or compare Vlish to hobnailed snails (1). It's just safer that way.

#41 - Beware the wandering tentacle. They like to slap, strangle, and... accost in other ways. Keep in mind, though, that tentacles have feelings, too.

#42 - OBSOLETE Do not call Nicothodes cute unless you enjoy being punctured viciously by mechanical pencils. If you don't call Nicothodes cute, she may give you a cookie. Also see #43.

#43 - Do not underestimate the power of the mechanical pencil.

#44 - Do not mock Mysterious Man's post count or question his registration date. He has survived being eaten by the UBB. You may not be so lucky.

#45 - Playing Homeland: Stone of the Night (1) is not a swift way to a painful death; it is the CIAs latest terror weapon. It's no longer available from SW but I think you can find it if you look. You know... if you're into that kind of thing.

#46 - If you become an invisible newbie (i.e. make an account then never post), beware of Arctic (1, 2). He is always hungry.

#47 - When you are looked at weirdly for laughing at the boards, just mumble something about living in the joy of Richard White (1), and go back to making arcane gestures at your monitor.

* - Neither Spiderweb Software, nor its employees, minions, or pet tarantulas are in any way affiliated with this list, and should not be held responsible for any incidental, consequential, coincidental, or sequential damages that might result from following the advice herein.